This episode of Dear Black Gay Men Podcast, host Jai the Gentleman tackles two sensitive but vital issues for the Black queer community: grieving a polarizing figure and the complicated discussion around trans identity.

🕊️ Remembering Michael Hurd: Yes King, Pastor, and Man

The community lost Michael Hurd, also known as Love and Light TV or Yes King, who passed away suddenly at 47. Michael was a prominent Black gay man, a father, and an entrepreneur who sparked conversations about spirituality and sexuality, having transitioned from a pastor/prophet to an adult content creator.

Reacting to Nico’s Aesthetics’ commentary, Jai addresses the disrespectful way many remembered Michael—by his viral catchphrases like “you digging in me”. Jai argues that while content creators must take responsibility for the brand they build (often highly sexualized), it does not excuse the public’s dehumanization of them in death. Michael Hurd was survived by his two people who he called husbands and his daughter, showing he was much more than his work.

🏳️‍⚧️ Passability and the Non-Binary Conundrum

The episode begins with a spicy reaction to podcaster Cherry thee Boom, who suggested that trans people who are “in transition” should feel uncomfortable using public facilities, implying a distinction between being in transition and a “trans woman”.

This launched a challenging conversation: How important is “passing” to us as external cisgender parties? While Jai acknowledges the importance of passability for safety reasons , he and the chat struggle to grasp the concept of non-binary identity, particularly when it feels like gendered behaviors are being ascribed to feelings (like dominance and submission).

Ultimately, Jai concludes that while he will acknowledge and respect everyone’s pronouns, for true connection, there needs to be a deeper level of understanding beyond mere acceptance.

Dear Black Gay Men’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe

Episode ID: 1000736727061

GUID: substack:post:178854916

Release Date: 14/11/2025, 15:30:00